Funeral Flower Etiquette in Singapore: The Dos and Don’ts
Funeral flowers are a precious offering to the family of the deceased as a gesture of support and compassion in a difficult, emotional time. Despite their significance, there are still occasions when some forethought is necessary before sending or gifting a funeral flower arrangement to the bereaved.
The symbolism of funeral flowers varies widely across Singapore’s multicultural society, shaped by its diverse religious and cultural beliefs. Some may view funeral flowers as a heartfelt gift for the bereaved, while others may not emphasise the necessity for floral offerings. It is therefore essential to consider the etiquette behind giving funeral flowers so that you can adequately express your sympathies and care to the bereaved.
Dos When Gifting Funeral Flowers
Choose Appropriate Flowers
Across Singapore’s multicultural landscape, flowers can convey different meanings depending on the type and even the colour of the flower. Here are some of the more common funeral flower options for Singaporean funerals.
Chrysanthemums
Chrysanthemums are a common sight in many Asian funerals, as they convey remembrance, love, and the constant cycle of life. Where white chrysanthemums commonly represent mourning, purity, and sorrow, yellow chrysanthemums are gifted to represent comfort, sympathy, and cherishing memories of the departed.
Lilies
White lilies are commonly regarded as symbols of purity and the soul’s restored innocence as they move on to the afterlife. Meanwhile, yellow lilies are given to express gratitude for the time spent with the departed. Both are often regarded as safe choices for funeral flowers, thanks to their solemn elegance and status as gifts to honour the departed.
Carnations
White carnations typically symbolise peace and pure love, while pink ones are offered to offer sympathies and comfort in remembrance of the departed. Carnations are usually associated with the Christian faith, as pink carnations are said to represent the Virgin Mary’s tears in Roman Catholicism.
Orchids
Orchids commonly symbolise eternal love, sympathy, and strength, often conveyed through white, pink, and soft purple bouquets or arrangements. They are usually given as funeral offerings for their graceful, comforting blooms.
Roses
Although roses are often associated with romance, they can also convey sympathy and comfort. White and pink roses typically represent purity, grace, and reverence for the departed. In many cultures, red roses are frowned upon as funeral gifts because of their association with romantic love.
Consider Cultural Differences
Not every flower is universally considered appropriate for a funeral. For example, yellow chrysanthemums may be given during Chinese funerals, as they symbolise enduring memories of the departed. However, yellow flowers may not be appropriate for funerals in cultures that view bright colours, like yellow, as symbols of joy. If you are unsure of what would be suitable for a particular funeral, it never hurts to check with the family ahead of time.
Consider the Recipient
The deceased’s family may also have preferences regarding funeral flowers. While some families adhere to their cultural or religious beliefs, others may not be very strict about observing these traditions. In some cases, the departed may also have made prior arrangements or requests for the flowers they wanted at their funeral. There may be funerals that welcome colourful blooms to celebrate the life of the departed, rather than making the proceedings a solemn affair.
Pick the Right Arrangement
Your choice of floral arrangement can also depend on factors such as your relationship with the departed and their family. In some cases, the bereaved may have specific floral arrangements in mind and request that you adhere to their requirements. Consider the following rules of thumb to help you:
Flower stands: These are typically offered to convey sympathies on behalf of a family, a group of friends, or an organisation. Flower stands are usually placed near the casket during the wake or funeral and feature a meaningful collection of appropriate flowers.
Wreaths: Floral wreaths are smaller arrangements that can be placed on stands or easels. They are sometimes considered a more personal offering than traditional flower stands.
Bouquets: These floral gifts are given directly to the deceased’s family as a more personal and intimate gesture, especially if you are close to them. They are offered as a way to convey your sympathies and comfort in private and provide solace in the days following the funeral.
Sprays: Funeral sprays are about the size of a funeral flower wreath and are commonly placed on top of the casket. Immediate family members commonly gift these to honour the departed.
Mind Your Timing
It is best to look for an appropriate funeral flower offering to give to the bereaved as soon as you hear about the funeral and its itinerary. Bringing flowers to the funeral is ideal, but if you are unable to attend, you can send a floral arrangement instead. Choose a reliable, fresh-flower delivery service to ensure your flowers arrive in excellent condition and on time.
Don’ts With Funeral Flower Etiquette
Choosing the Wrong Flowers
Not every flower may have positive connotations suitable for funerals. Different cultures and faiths view flowers differently, so what works for one culture might not work for another. For example, bright tones are frowned upon as they commonly convey joy and happiness. However, some cultures or religions may accept certain bright colours, like yellow, due to different connotations. To be safe, opt for neutral colours like white. If you are unsure, you can check with the departed’s family in advance.
Extravagant Flower Arrangements
Simplicity is sufficient for any funeral flower arrangement. Sending a large flower bouquet or stand could accidentally disrupt the funeral layout and leave an unintended impression on the bereaved and other guests. It may be wise to opt for a small but meaningful arrangement that caters to the family’s cultural and religious beliefs, as size should not dictate the sincerity of your offering. Smaller or medium-sized arrangements are also easier to prepare and place without affecting the funeral proceedings.
Making Assumptions
Even if you are close to the bereaved, you should be mindful of whether they have preferences for funeral flowers. Never assume that you know what would be appropriate for them, especially if you may not know them as well as you might think. Always check with them first to avoid misunderstandings. For example, if the family requests not to receive flowers, refrain from doing so, or you may end up seeming insensitive to their feelings.
If you are looking for an appropriate funeral flower arrangement, shopflowerstands can help you choose the right flowers and arrangement for the occasion. Visit our website to view our funeral flower offerings, or contact us via WhatsApp to learn more!